First I had to go to my Primary Care Physician... a fancy name for Family Doctor. Now I don't have a lot of love for most doctors, but I have to say that Dr. Dillard is a fine doctor. Beside the fact that she is very intelligent, she is a very caring and understanding person. She has to be to put up with me but I think that goes without saying. I am one of those patients who always wants to know things like what this particular medicine actually does to my body (last count I have 8 different prescribed medications) and she is really good about explaining right down to the molecular level what is going on. She is the first doctor that I have had that would take the time to do this. She is great. Also, she will write me a "script" for pain pills. No, she doesn't write me a "script" for 10 Oxycontin per day, but she does provide me with enough Percocets that I can take one now and again when my old knee is really acting up. Most doctors won't even do this. They say, "You'll have to go to your orthopedist and get him to help you with that." Give me a break!
Well, yesterday was my last appointment with Dr. Dillard. She is moving to another hospital where she can dictate her own schedule and have enough time to take care of her two young kids. Damn, I will miss her. I wish her only the best. She is a keeper and I will never forget her.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Wifee and I gave her a bottle of White Zinfandel as a going away present. In keeping with my own sick sense of humor I told her it was a "Get out of town" present. Did I say that I would miss her?
Next we hillbillies had to go across the river into Ohio so that I could let a pretty blonde plebotomist (pronounced "flea bottom ist") take about 9 gallons of blood for a pre-surgical work-up... whatever that is. I'm having open-heart surgery next Thursday. Ok, maybe not "open-heart" surgery, but they are going to put a new battery in my pacemaker. Same thing, right? The good news is that I don't have any fleas on my bottom. I guess the chiggers and cooties ate them all up.
Next stop for us hillbillies was the hardware store. Listen to this. All I wanted was some 3/16" nuts and a few eye nuts the same size. Is that asking too much of a nationally franchised hardware store? Obviously it is. The store had absolutely no 3/16" nuts for sale. I told the guy that maybe I could use #10-24 nuts instead since they will fit onto a 3/16" bolt but the outside diameter is smaller than a regular 3/16" nut.
"The will?" he said (asked). "But of course you already knew that, right?" Obviously not. And when I asked him about eye nuts he thought I was joking. Nope. I had to tell him what they are. "Wow, that sounds like a good idea." he said. I agreed although I refrained from telling him that it would also be a good idea if his hardware store carried a few of them too.
Overall Wanda and I enjoyed our little trip to town. We even went to Taco Bell for lunch. You are not going to believe this though. The taco salads had RICE in them. Hell, if I want Chinese I'll to to Kung Fu Chopstick Charlie's to eat. What is the world coming to?
Well, needless to say this old hillbilly was thrilled to get home to the animals (Sissy and Miss Kitty). I immediately went online and order the parts I needed (off of eBay, no less).
Hillbillies should probably stay out of town as much as possible.
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