Back In 60 Seconds

If you are under the age of 60 you might not remember this, but commercial breaks on TV used to be about a minute long.  If fact, I can still remember the countless times I heard the words, "We'll be right back in 60 seconds."
Those were the magic words.  Upon hearing those words the family would enter a spontaneous mayhem that would astound modern battlefield commanders.  The choreography of our lightning movements to the bathrooms, the kitchen, and to other brief destations was amazing.  I found that I could even feed the dog in under 60 seconds if I planned it out to the last detail and executed my plan flawlessly.  As the clock hit 60 seconds the family would be all perched in their respective places in front of the TV as if nothing had transpired over the last minute.  Well, there might be a few clues to suggest otherwise.
There was a little bit of puffing a panting for a few seconds, maybe a couple of sodas present that were not in the room a minute ago, and maybe a relieved look on the faces of a couple of those in the room.  And there would be the smell of Twin Pet dog food in the room.  Oops... somebody didn't wash their hands.  Oh well, maybe in the next 60 second break.  Maybe.
Fast forward to the present.  No rushing and scurrying during the commercial breaks anymore.  No yells of "I've got dibs on the downstairs bathroom!"  No refrigerator door slamming or loud sounds of little feet running up the stairs trying to utilize every spare second of precious break time.  No... no rush at all during the commercial break anymore.
Today's break are a marathon of commercials and promo's that almost equal the broadcast time of the regular programming.  Have you ever timed the break while watching "Jeopardy" between the announcement of the Final Jeopardy Category and the return to see the answers (questions)?  If you haven't, don't.  It will depress you.  And how about the number of minutes per hour you actually get to watch a movie?  I go nuts when I try to watch a movie on the show "Dinner and A Movie."  Even worse is "An Officer and a Movie."
Arrrrrrrrgh!
And please don't remind me that television programming was free when I was a kid.  My DirecTV bill is in the $80/month neighborhood and I don't even watch PPV movies.  Yes, we have more channels to watch these days.  Heck, I can watch "Pretty Woman", "Overboard", and "Down Periscope" most any given night of the week.  And we have dedicated News Channels nowadays.  Yes, I can watch the same 5 News Stories over and over for 24 hours straight.  Super!  And all this for only $80 per month.
I think I used to get more enjoyment watching the Test Pattern on the TV while my sisters and I were sitting on the floor waiting for the cartoons to come on at 7 in the morning.

Rest In Peace, Annette.